Classical Music For Dummies

Contents

• Introduction 1
• About This Book 1
• Foolish Assumptions 2
• Icons Used in This Book 2
• Beyond the Book 3
• Where to Go from Here 4
• Part 1: Getting Started With Classical Music 5
• Chapter 1: Prying Open the Classical Music Oyster 7
• Discovering What Classical Music Really is 8
• Figuring Out What You Like 8
• The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Composers 9
• Their music is from the heart 9
• They use a structure that you can feel 9
• They're creative and original 10
• They express a relevant human emotion 10
• They keep your attention with variety and pacing 11
• Their music is easy to remember 11
• They move you with their creations 12
• Chapter 2: The Entire History of Music in 80 Pages 13
• Understanding How Classical Music Got Started 13
• Chanting All Day: The Middle Ages 14
• Gregorian chant 14
• A monk named Guido 15
• Mass dismissed! 15
• The First Composer-Saint 16
• Born Again: The Renaissance 16
• The madrigal takes off 16
• Opera hits prime time 17
• Getting Emotional: The Baroque Era 18
• Renegade notes on wheels 18
• Kings, churches, and other high rollers 19
• Antonio Vivaldi 19
• George Frideric Handel 21
• Johann Sebastian Bach 24
• Tightening the Corset: The Classical Style 26
• Joseph Haydn 27
• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 29
• Joseph Boulogne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges 34
• Ludwig van Beethoven: The man who changed everything 34
• Schubert and his Lieder 39
• Felix Mendelssohn 42
• Fanny Mendelssohn 44
• Falling in Love: Hopeless Romantics 45
• Carl Maria von Weber 45
• Hector Berlioz 46
• Frederic Chopin 49
• Robert Schumann 51
• Johannes Brahms 54
• The superstars: Paganini and Liszt 56
• Liszt follows Paganini's lead 57
• Richard Wagner 58
• Strauss and Mahler 59
• Saluting the Flag(s): Nationalism in Classical Music 63
• Bedrich Smetana 64
• Antonin Dvorak 65
• Edvard Grieg 67
• Jean Sibelius 68
• Carl Nielsen 70
• Glinka and the Mighty Fistful 71
• Peter Tchaikovsky 73
• Sergei Rachmaninoff 75
• Listening to Music of the 20th Century and Beyond 77
• Debussy and Ravel 78
• Igor Stravinsky 80
• Sergei Prokofiev 83
• Dmitri Shostakovich 84
• The Second Viennese School 86
• The Americans 87
• Chapter 3: Spotting a Sonata 95
• Symphonies 95
• First movement: brisk and lively 96
• Second movement: slow and lyrical 97
• Third movement: dancy 98
• Finale: rollicking 98
• Sonatas and Sonatinas 99
• Concertos 100
• Concerto structure 101
• The cadenza 101
• Dances and Suites 103
• Serenades and Divertimentos 104
• Themes and Variations 105
• Fantasias and Rhapsodies 106
• Tone Poems (Or Symphonic Poems) 107
• Lieder (and Follower) 107
• Leader of the Lieder 108
• Song forms 108
• Oratorios and Other Choral Works 109
• Operas, Operettas, and Arias 110
• Overtures and Preludes 110
• Ballets and Ballerinas 111
• String Quartets and Other Motley Assortments 112
• Why Do You Need a Form, Anyway? 113
• Part 2: Listen Up! 115
• Chapter 4: Dave 'n' Scott's E-Z Concert Survival Guide (TM) 117
• Preparing - or Not 117
• Knowing When to Arrive at the Concert 118
• Can I Wear a Loincloth to The Rite of Spring? 119
• The Gourmet Guide to Pre-Concert Dining 119
• Figuring Out Where to Sit - and How to Get the Best Ticket Deals 120
• To Clap or Not to Clap: That's the Question 122
• Why nobody claps 122
• More on the insane "no-clap" policy 123
• Who to Bring and Who to Leave at Home with the Dog 125
• Recognizing Which Concerts to Attend - or Avoid - on a Date 125
• Peeking at the Concert Program 126
• The typical concert format 127
• The music itself 129
• A different kind of program 130
• Introducing the Concertmaster 132
• Finding the pitch 133
• Twisting and turning, pulling and pushing 133
• Enter the Conductor 135
• Understanding interpretation 135
• Slicing up time 137
• Reading the job description 138
• Chapter 5: For Your Listening Pleasure 141
• 1 Handel: Water Music Suite No 2: Alla Hornpipe 142
• 2 Bach: Well-Tempered Clavier, Book 2: Prelude and Fugue in C Major 143
• 3 Mozart: Piano Concerto No 22 in E-Flat, Third Movement 145
• 4 Beethoven: Symphony No 5, First Movement 149
• Exposition 150
• Development 151
• Recapitulation 151
• Coda 152
• 5 Brahms: Symphony No 4, Third Movement 153
• 6 Dvorak: Serenade for Strings, Fourth Movement 155
• 7 Tchaikovsky: Symphony No 6, Fourth Movement 156
• 8 Debussy: La Mer: Dialogue du Vent et de la Mer 158
• 9 Stravinsky: The Rite of Spring: Opening to the End of Jeu de Rapt 161
• Introduction 161
• Danses des adolescentes (Dances of the Adolescent Girls) 162
• Jeu de rapt (Ritual of Abduction) 163
• Intermission: Backstage Tour 165
• Living in the Orchestral Fishpond 165
• What I Did for Love 166
• Going through an Audition 167
• An almost-true story 167
• Rigged auditions 169
• The list 169
• The prescription 170
• Playing the odds 170
• An unexpected meeting 171
• The return 171
• Onstage 172
• Behind the screen 172
• The wait 174
• The aftermath 175
• The Life of an Orchestra Musician, or What's Going on in the Practice Room? 175
• Selling the Product 176
• Understanding Contract Riders 179
• The Strange and Perilous Relationship between an Orchestra and Its Conductor 180
• Why an Orchestra Career is Worth the Grief 182
• Part 3: A Field Guide To The Orchestra 183
• Chapter 6: Keyboards & Co 185
• The Piano 185
• Looking inside the piano 186
• Naming the notes 186
• Finding an octave 186
• Playing the black keys 187
• Looking inside the piano 188
• Pressing down the pedals 188
• Hearing the piano 190
• The Harpsichord 191
• Winning the Baroque gold medal 191
• Hearing the harpsichord 192
• The Organ 193
• Pulling out the stops 194
• Hearing the organ 194
• The Synthesizer 195
• Chapter 7: Strings Attached 197
• The Violin 198
• Drawing the bow 199
• Tuning up 199
• Playing the violin 200
• Vibrating the string 201
• The unbearable lightness of bowing 201
• Plucking the strings 202
• Hearing the violin 203
• The Other String Instruments 204
• The viola 204
• The cello 206
• The double bass 208
• The harp 209
• The guitar 212
• Chapter 8: Gone with the Woodwinds 215
• The Flute 216
• Making music out of thin air 216
• Hearing the flute 217
• The Piccolo 218
• The Oboe 219
• Playing the oboe 221
• Hearing the oboe 222
• The English Horn 223
• The Clarinet 223
• Transposing instruments 223
• Hearing the clarinet 225
• The Saxophone 226
• The Bassoon 227
• Chapter 9: The Top (and Bottom) Brass 231
• Making a Sound on a Brass Instrument 232
• The French Horn 233
• Hunting for notes: The natural horn 234
• Adding valves: The modern, treacherous horn 234
• Hearing the French horn 235
• The Trumpet 236
• Tonguing 237
• Using mutes 237
• Hearing the trumpet 237
• The Trombone 238
• Sliding around 239
• Hearing the trombone 240
• The Tuba 241
• A gaggle of tubas 241
• Hearing the tuba 242
• Pet Peeves of the Brassily Inclined 242
• Chapter 10: Percussion's Greatest Hits 243
• The Timpani 244
• Drum roll, please! 246
• Hearing the timpani 246
• The Bass Drum 246
• The Cymbals 247
• The Snare Drum 247
• The Xylophone 248
• Other Xylo-like Instruments 250
• More Neat Instruments Worth Banging 250
• The triangle 250
• The tambourine 252
• The tam-tam and gong 253
• The castanets 254
• The whip 254
• The cowbell 255
• The ratchet 255
• Part 4: Peeking Into The Composer's Brain 257
• Chapter 11: The Dreaded Music Theory Chapter 259
• I've Got Rhythm: The Engine of Music 260
• Dividing up time 260
• Feeling the beat 261
• Sight-reading for the first time 262
• Making notes longer 263
• Making notes shorter 264
• Adding a dot 265
• Taking the final exam 266
• Understanding Pitch: Beethoven at 5,000 rpm 267
• Performing an experiment for the betterment of mankind 268
• 12 pitches! 269
• Notating pitches 270
• Dave 'n' Scott's 99.9999% Key-Determining Method 278
• Why we have keys 279
• Making the Leap into Intervals 280
• The major second 281
• The major third 282
• The fourth 282
• The fifth 283
• The major sixth 284
• The major seventh 285
• The octave 285
• Telling the difference: major and minor intervals 286
• The minor second 286
• The minor third 287
• The minor fifth (not!) - aka the tritone 288
• The minor sixth 288
• The minor seventh 289
• Getting on the Scale 290
• Constructing a Melody 292
• Getting Two-Dimensional: Piece and Harmony 292
• Major, minor, and insignificant chords 293
• Friends and relations: harmonic progressions 294
• Friends, Romans, chord progressions 295
• Listening to the oldies 296
• Put in Blender, Mix Well 297
• Getting Your Music Theory Degree 298
• Chapter 12: Once More, with Feeling: Tempo, Dynamics, and Orchestration 299
• Meet the Dynamics Duo: Soft and Loud 300
• Honey, I shrunk the LoudSoft (TM) 301
• Wearing Italian hairpins 302
• Getting into matters of sonic taste 303
• Throwing Tempo Tantrums 303
• Telling 'Bones from Heckelphones: Orchestration Made Easy 304
• Playing with sound colors 304
• Notating orchestrations 304
• Who's the orchestrator? 305
• Part 5: The Part of Tens 307
• Chapter 13: The Ten Most Common Misconceptions about Classical Music 309
• Classical Music is Boring 309
• Classical Music is for Snobs 310
• All Modern Concert Music is Hard to Listen to 310
• They Don't Write Classical Music Anymore 311
• You Have to Dress Up to Go to the Symphony 311
• If You Haven't Heard of the Guest Artist, She Can't Be Any Good 311
• Professional Musicians Have It Easy 312
• The Best Seats Are Down Front 313
• Clapping between Movements is Illegal, Immoral, and Fattening 313
• Classical Music Can't Change Your Life 314
• Chapter 14: The Ten Best Musical Terms for Cocktail Parties 315
• Atonal 316
• Cadenza 316
• Concerto 317
• Counterpoint 317
• Crescendo 317
• Exposition 318
• Intonation 318
• Orchestration 318
• Repertoire 318
• Rubato 318
• Tempo 319
• Using Your New-Found Mastery 319
• Chapter 15: Ten Great Classical Music Jokes 321
• Master of Them All 321
• The Heavenly Philharmonic 322
• Brass Dates 322
• The Late Maestro 323
• Basses Take a Breather 323
• Houseless Violist 324
• Ludwig's Grave 324
• The Weeping Violist 324
• Musicians' Revenge 325
• One Last Viola Joke 325
• Chapter 16: Ten Ways to Get More Music in Your Life 327
• Get Involved with Your Orchestra 327
• Join a Classical Music Tour 328
• Meet the Artists - Be a Groupie 328
• Make Music Friends on the Internet 329
• Join an Unlimited Music Service 330
• Listen to Your Local Classical Station 330
• Load Up on Your Own Recordings 331
• Watch Classical Music Movies 332
• Study Up on the Classics 333
• Make Your Own Music 334
• Part 6: The Appendixes 337
• Appendix A: Listen to This! Starting a Classical Music Collection 339
• List 1: Old Favorites 340
• List 2: MILD on the Taste Meter 341
• List 3: MEDIUM on the Taste Meter 342
• List 4: MEDIUM HOT on the Taste Meter 343
• List 5: HOT on the Taste Meter 344
• Appendix B: Classical Music Timeline 345
• Appendix C: Glossary 353
• Index 359